SCP-871: Self-Replacing Cake
SCP-871 is a collection of 237 cakes varying wildly in size and appearance. When any instance of SCP-871 is consumed by a human or a collection of humans, it is replaced approximately 24 hours afterward with a similar cake. This cake will appear on a flat surface in the vicinity of the location where the previous instance was eaten. If any of these cakes is substantially damaged through any means other than being eaten by a human, including being eaten by a non-human animal, it will be replaced instantaneously.
SCP-871 is classified as Keter due to the consequences of not being eaten. Any instance of SCP-871 which is not consumed will cause a new cake to be created in its vicinity after 24 hours. While this is similar to its normal “replacement” behavior, the original instance will continue to exhibit the same properties, replicating if damaged and continuing to “replace” itself every 24 hours. This behavior has been observed in all cases where more than 10% of the mass of an instance remained unconsumed. As there is no known mechanism for halting SCP-871’s replication, any uncontained instances could replicate exponentially, quickly becoming unmanageable. No maintainable plans for the containment of more than 20,000 instances of SCP-871 have yet been devised. It is estimated that an uncontrolled outbreak originating with a single instance would render the earth uninhabitable within 80 days.
SCP-026: Afterschool Retention
SCP-026 is a condemned 3-story public school. It came to the Foundation’s attention after several disappearances in the area were linked to visits to the abandoned building. Graffiti and other writing has been noted to disappear and reappear in new locations. The phrase “The children used to sing” has appeared multiple times in various places throughout the building, but there is currently no explanation for its significance.
A number of unconscious subjects have been found in the building, mostly of high school age, ranging from twelve to eighteen and dressed in accordance to the school’s dress code. Several have been identified as former students or faculty of the school who disappeared after the school shut down (in at least one case, more than ten years after the closure). It is currently unknown how they were transported back into SCP-026. All attempts to wake the subjects while inside the building have failed. On being removed from the grounds of SCP-026, the subjects wake abruptly. They experience a period of confusion, before dying from extremely rapid dehydration, followed by advanced decomposition.
An interview with the former principal of the school can be found here. An interview with an agent affected by SCP-026 can be found here. Exploration logs documenting the spatial anomalies of SCP-026 can be found here.
SCP-670: Family of Cotton
SCP-670 is comprised of four roughly humanoid individuals, SCP-670-1, SCP-670-2, SCP-670-3, and SCP-670-4, who refer to themselves collectively as ‘the Cotton family’. SCP-670-1 and SCP-670-2 appear to be the ‘father’ and the ‘mother’ of the family, judging by their height and comments made in interviews, while SCP-670-3 and SCP-670-4 are the ‘children’ of the family. Members of SCP-670 possess a thin outer layer of hardened clay ‘skin’, showing signs of deterioration from over a long length of time.
Under this, the organs, flesh, and nervous system are composed entirely of different types of thread. The majority of the thread used is cotton, but large amounts of silk and polyester are also present. Small amounts of rayon and nylon are also noted in the internal organs. The skeleton is composed of rope knotted into a suitable shape and the fingers of SCP-670 members seem to be rusted sewing needles.
Members of SCP-670 have demonstrated an advanced aptitude for the use of thread, using their ‘fingers’ to create extremely complicated objects, such as suitable eating implements and seating, in a short amount of time.
The main article contains a partial list of constructed items as well as a record of an interview with SCP-670-1 and a record of an incident which resulted in the “death” and reconstruction of SCP-670-3.
Best SCP Ever
Item #: SCP-789-J
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-789-J is kept in my toilet and only i can talk to it
Description: SCP-789-J is a ghost that is a face. it lives in a toilet and it talks to you while you poop. then when you poop it goes “no stop aaaa-” and then stops because there is poop in its mouth.
SCP-789-J travels around in butts. you can only get rid of it by wiping. that is the moral of the story.
sometimes it kills other butts and makes them butt ghosts too. but it is always lonely because it is a butt ghost.
Addendum: if you fall in the toilet, it eats your butt.
by researcher james, age 11
“wow I should really play that game I never finished”
keeps refreshing tumblr
